youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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