so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
