pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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