This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
