first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so let's talk penis.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
