Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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