Sry I called you an 8
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
