i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize