i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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