don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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