I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize