Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
