Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
