I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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