Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
