I didn't shave. On purpose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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