Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize