i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize