I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
