You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
