if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He did a backflip because drugs
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