That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
