does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
