I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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