How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
