he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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