Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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