Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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