We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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