i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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