She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
