I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
