I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
