i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
