cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
