Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
