Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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