Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
