I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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