Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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