Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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