dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
