dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
