Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
