Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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