Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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