dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
