i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.