she woke up with a sticky ear
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
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It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis