nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.