Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
