Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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