you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
