The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She told me I should be a condom model.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize