Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
