We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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