my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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