Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
