she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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