They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You ruined the universe
The adults are the big ones right?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
