My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
