you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
