you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
