it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like eating out sand paper
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He did a backflip because drugs
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