Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
