Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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