is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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