You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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