it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
